I'll Save You a Seat Next to Me

Fifteen years ago, I walked away from a community that had prominently shaped my world. As I turned toward an uncertain future, I was met not with support but with warnings. Handwritten letters were pressed into my hands, and voices over the phone that said: "You're making a mistake." "You'll regret this."

I carried those words with me, their weight pressing down on my shoulders and on my heart. I questioned myself more times than I can count. What if they were right? What if, by leaving, I was abandoning something sacred? Yet, inside me, a voice insisted I walk forward, even as the doubt clung to me.

Being disruptive was never my intention, but my departure sent unrest through the community. I lost friends who couldn't understand my choices or felt betrayed by them. Relationships faded, not out of malice but because they couldn't bridge the gap between who I was and who I was becoming.

Friends and family struggled to adjust to my newness, how I spoke and carried myself, and that I no longer fit the mold they once knew. My departure from the Netherlands Reformed Congregation wasn't just a shift for me; it forced others to confront their beliefs and fears about change. Now, I write to share my story, truth, and experience. And new voices have appeared to say something different: "Thank you for speaking up." "Thank you for making us feel like we are not alone."

This journey hasn't been easy. I've second-guessed myself countless times. But as I sit here now, I know choosing the path of freedom over fear was the right decision. And for every door closed in my life, new ones opened, revealing possibilities I never imagined.

The path of self-discovery can, at times, feel isolating, but there is space for you here. You are welcomed just as you are, imperfectly perfect, growing and evolving. Here, you are accepted for who you are and not turned away for who you are not. I invite you to stay a while, and after some time spent together, you may come to understand what I have. Contentment isn't found in rigid walls and locked gates but in open spaces, honest conversations, and the courage to ask: What if there's another way?

Like in my book, Don't Chase Your Dreams, Allow Them to Come to You, I share pieces of my journey, hoping readers see themselves in my words and find inspiration for their own path.

No matter where you are on your journey, you are always welcome to sit next to me.